"The hopeful emphasis in this book/workbook is on empowering young people, as they look at themselves and their life experiences, to recapture a loving core, rather than to continue in self defeating negative relationships. It's an emphasis that is lacking in other material. I would highly recommend it for individuals trying to change their lives and teachers, social workers and parents who are trying to help young people caught in negative relationships."
Carol Sundholm
BA Mathematics/Psychology; MA Educational Psychology; Specialist Degree, Special Education
Growing a better me...
Healing the hurt that causes bullying and being bullied
A new book proposes that the transformation of the aggressive bully or the vulnerable victim begins by healing the deep psychological hurt that is common in both roles. Growing a better me . . . Healing the hurt that causes bullying and being bullied by Lee Ann Hawkins offers insight, compassion, and a new perspective on how to heal an antisocial pandemic that is impacting the lives of children and adolescents.
Hawkins provides young people an empowering process designed to focus on addressing the causes instead of the symptoms of bullying and being bullied by first affirming the value, and worthiness of the individual. From this platform she teaches how to transform attitudes and unkind behavior through emotional management; a practice that enhances the individual’s innate awareness and ability to change how they feel, what they think, and how their thoughts and feelings influence their behavior. Included are effective exercises to help transform the problem and heal relationships.
Interview Questions
1. How do you help someone who bullies?
- Reinterpret the bullying behavior as a call for help.
- Remember that the behavior is something the individual does. It is not who he or she is.
- Help the individual identify the hurt that is causing the unkind behavior.
- Provide the necessary support to help the individual heal the relationship they have with hime or herself.
2. What makes your book different than other books out there on the subject of bullying?
The focus of the book is on healing the hurt that causes bullying behavior and being bullied. It is about helping the individual recapture a loving core, and transforming the behavior.
3. You mention the importance of having compassion for the person who bullies. Please explain.
If the problem of bullyilng is approached with the same quality of negative energy, or attitude that fuels the bullying behavior, you are not going to heal the problem. In fact, this will make the problem worse. It is not possible to change, stop, or transform anything with the same negative energy, or attitude that fuels the unwanted behavior.
5. What are the benefits of the process you are suggesting?
- This process provides help for the person who bullies as well as the person who is being bullied.
- The person is given an opportunity to learn how to recapture a loving core, rather than to continue participating in behaviors that are harmful to others, or to self.
- The person will learn how to identify the thoughts and feelings that trigger unwanted behavior and how to change it.
- Teachers and parents will have a tool to help both the person who bullies and the person who is bullied heal the hurt that causes the unwanted behavior.
- The individual will learn how to have more control over managing their emotions and behavior, improve relationships, self-esteem, and confidence.
About Lee Ann Hawkins
Licensed Clinical Counselor Lee Ann Hawkins, RN, works with people on how to transform the quality of their relationships and lives. Lee Ann teaches the practice of heart-focused living through her work as a inspirational speaker and author. She is available to provide seminars and workshops on her books, relationships, managing stress, and living the life you love. She and her husband, Patrick, live in Chicago.